do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
