I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
