So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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