I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize