We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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