i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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