definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
