We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
They are going to name an STD after you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
