Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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