my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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