Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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