I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
