You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
