I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
