dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can Purell be used as lube?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
