i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
