I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
