i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
