Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
