Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize