my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
