Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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