I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
