East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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