he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize