Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
