Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
