Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
