dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
