Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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