Sry I called you an 8
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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