evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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