I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
