so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
