im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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