: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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