Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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