Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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