What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
