And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
