And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
