Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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