oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your shirt... Was in my pants
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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