I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize