I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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