Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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