My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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