Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
