Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
