How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
