I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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