Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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