i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
