There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
