thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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