Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
