At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
