Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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