I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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