that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
