my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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