what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
