I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
