First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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