just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
